I sat in my bed. I looked so blank like a clean piece of untouched paper. My mind started to wander. I let go the deepest thoughts I kept in my pandora’s box for years. Different extreme thoughts and emotions hovered my entire abode.
I grabbed my pillow – my sole source of solace, my shock and tear absorber. I began to cry like a kid dying for a box of white chocolates. Opposing thoughts and emotions played some tricks on my cluttered existence. Feeling so helpless and frail, I let them consumed my whole being. Rivers of tears continued to flow, making my solace-giver slightly soaked in with it.
Questions were all over my nutshell. Not just one or two but a lot of questions. Mostly unanswered ones. Those queries were so vague that I gasped for answers. Again buckets of tears started to overflow. This time it seemed that all my capillaries were blocked that my heart pumped vigorously. I even heard its loud beat like a drum.
After I struggled to catch my breath and the palpitation of my heart went back to normal, I looked at myself in a life-sized mirror. I was in awe! I saw my naked soul being unmasked. I looked at my image sternly. I saw a different being. As I subject myself to my own personal scrutiny, I began to see images of my past – a dreadful and otherwise one. Each picture symbolized an important event in my life. They were presented in an orderly manner according to the degree of impact it brought into my life.
Regrets, sadness, hatred began to consume me. I just shook my head in total despair. Then the next sets of photos unfolded. It portrayed a good life I’ve abandoned, some accomplishments and important things and persons in my life. It was a good view though. My knees trembled. My body getting numbed.
Then I looked at my desk clock, ’twas 25 minutes after six in the morning. So I succumbed to my bed and closed my eyes.